ham tastes like people

 So we had a conversation the other day (I forget how it came up) about what people taste like. Eddie Izzard says in one of his stand ups that cannibalistic peoples say that people taste like chicken (his point being that babies taste like chicken). But Jeremy and Stephanie had heard that people taste more like pork (from the people the movie “Alive” was based on), and ultimately we decided that made more sense, since pork and people are mammals and chicken is poultry. I didn’t realize how much sense that made to me until yesterday. We went to Wine & Cheese Cask for sandwiches for lunch, and when we got back to work, I unwrapped mine and realized I was given ham by mistake. I don’t usually eat ham; I don’t like it much. But our Sunday evening conversation added another dimension to my general dislike of pork. The “people taste like pork” discussion had wormed its way into my brain to the point where I almost threw up. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Ham has this particular taste…. and then I thought of something else… even worse. When I was a kid, I was a tomboy, always getting scraped up (also, I’m a klutz). I wore a lot of band aids and I remember always thinking that when you wore a band aid all day and then took it off, it smelled like hot dogs. So basically, I’m ruined for pork for life.

(except bacon)


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